Morning at Panera is the best kind of way to start my day. The light is just beginning to cascade through the windows and it feels like the day might actually prove to be something new.
I long for new. Different. Anything that might cause wonderment or hope. I long for those things.
Soft acoustic rock is exactly what I need in the morning. Driving, methodical beats that don’t affront the ears.
I’ve been longing for this. Panera at the right time of day. I’ve been coming and finding disappointment for months. Perhaps I just wasn’t coming at the right time of day.
Perhaps I just had writer’s block.
It felt more like a soul block.
What I wanted, what I needed, and what was – they were such disparities. I couldn’t write from that place. If I did, then it was a lost sort of writing, a questioning writing, a disparate writing.
Dave Matthews chimes overhead, “Where are you going?”
The truth is none of us know. We have ideas of how we want the future to be, five year plans and life maps.
But we don’t know what will come along to alter the course. We don’t know if we will change our heart’s desires. We don’t know if maybe, maybe life will hand us immoveable boundaries.
Where am I going?
Perhaps tomorrow I will know. Today, all I know is the day is new, the light is right and I feel a little bit okay within my skin.
And that is truly new.