Today, I tried to be in nature.
I’m reading this book about re-enchanting your everyday life. Everyday has seemed boring and mundane lately so it sounded like a good title. The book suggested being in nature so I tried to take to the back porch while I wrote my goals this morning. Three giant spiders later, I found myself on the front porch instead.
I’m not sure I like nature.
Nature is not controlled. I can’t control it. Our yard is evidence of my relationship with nature. We literally have weeds five feet tall out back, because, well, my 14 inch mower won’t tame the 1 acre yard. I mean, it would if I spent 14 hours mowing each week. You can guess, I’m sure, that never happens.
Yet, that’s not all. I don’t love the creepy crawly things and I’m allergic to most trees. Literally, I’m allergic to 14 trees, plus ragweed and every other common plant on earth.
Nature and I are not friends.
Perhaps I spent too long in the suburbs.
This book I’m reading says that nature has something to teach us, if we only take the time to listen. The lesson nature is trying to teach me?
Go hide inside.
Or perhaps it has more to do with control and standards that I impose. You see, growing up in the suburbs, lawns were finely manicured, weeds exterminated. This is just one example of the standards I have for nature, which I’m finding are rather unreasonable. Perhaps if I let go of the perfect suburb ideal, I may find more acceptance for the overgrown areas on our acre.
Deeper still, perhaps it is time to relinquish the control I desire, but cannot have. Perhaps the lesson here with the spiders is becoming okay with the creepy crawlies of life, because they do exist and are out of my sphere-of-control. Perhaps learning to sit next to the things which make me uncomfortable is the real lesson nature teaches me.
I just wish, metaphorically and physically, those spiders weren’t so big.